He blew his whistle for a half-hour
break, but made me stay. Said I
was his star athlete. Said I
was his mixed-race mermaid. Said
small waist, wide hips, bridged
nose, and skin the color of first place
gold. I swelled, pushed off strong against
blue tiles. He timed my movements to the millisecond. Held
me down till I mastered my breath. held
me till my ribs came together like
a closed up shell, sealed
off from the touch and tread of him. Held
me in more ways
than one, so that by
the end of month three I
watched bubbles surface one
by two by fifty until someone
pulled me up and my lips matched
the sky's pale blue. I swam on the
line to exhaustion, to propel mind
away from my own body. Arms held
high into a swan's dive, legs
pressed firm on board. Heard him blow
his hard whistle, said I
was pure like sun kissed gold
I drowned
before he finished.
*feedback por favor!
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Very powerful/visual. I really like it. I feel like towards the end I'm wanting for more info though - if that makes sense? Anyone else? If this is your intent, leave it. I def would love to hear you read this, though. Hope that helps. One.
ReplyDeletei really LOVE this. the imagery is solid and real and the lines/breaks are so spot on. i kind of agree with angie though, only because the beginning is so tangible and then it becomes a little too abstract to fully appreciate the strength of the board and whistle and gold and everything.
ReplyDeleteactually now i'm sort of having an argument with myself about it.. so i'm not sure. i maybe wish drowned was another word. but i'm not quite sure about that either.
ReplyDelete