Thursday, April 29, 2010

Said I Was Pure Gold

He blew his whistle for a half-hour
break, but made me stay. Said I

was his star athlete. Said I
was his mixed-race mermaid. Said

small waist, wide hips, bridged
nose, and skin the color of first place

gold. I swelled, pushed off strong against
blue tiles. He timed my movements to the millisecond. Held

me down till I mastered my breath. held
me till my ribs came together like

a closed up shell, sealed
off from the touch and tread of him. Held

me in more ways
than one, so that by

the end of month three I
watched bubbles surface one

by two by fifty until someone
pulled me up and my lips matched

the sky's pale blue. I swam on the
line to exhaustion, to propel mind

away from my own body. Arms held
high into a swan's dive, legs

pressed firm on board. Heard him blow
his hard whistle, said I

was pure like sun kissed gold
I drowned

before he finished.

*feedback por favor!

3 comments:

  1. Very powerful/visual. I really like it. I feel like towards the end I'm wanting for more info though - if that makes sense? Anyone else? If this is your intent, leave it. I def would love to hear you read this, though. Hope that helps. One.

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  2. i really LOVE this. the imagery is solid and real and the lines/breaks are so spot on. i kind of agree with angie though, only because the beginning is so tangible and then it becomes a little too abstract to fully appreciate the strength of the board and whistle and gold and everything.

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  3. actually now i'm sort of having an argument with myself about it.. so i'm not sure. i maybe wish drowned was another word. but i'm not quite sure about that either.

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